I have had dozens of storytelling coaching buddies over my decades as a teller, teacher, writer and coach. At the moment, I have about seven coaching buddies, who I meet with anywhere from weekly to every two months or so.
Yet my first coaching buddy, the magnificent storyteller Jay O’Callahan, has been the greatest among equals. We have coached together countless times, always learning more about how to be helpful to each other. We have helped each other with short stories, lengthy tales, recordings, books, and decisions about where to direct our creative energies.
Does this mean we spend hours giving each other suggestions? Usually not. instead, we have learned to listen the best out of each other and then to follow that listening with insightful appreciations. We have helped each other see good things in our stories that we had not yet seen on our own.
To be sure, we give brief and rare suggestions, because we have learned that the best coaches can accomplish a great deal with nothing but delighted listening. When listening isn’t enough, though, we add insightful appreciations. Only if more is needed at that point do we resort to suggestions. Suggestions are sometimes vital, but they can also be the least efficient route to engaging the teller’s mind, en route to an improvement!
Our Effect on Each Other
I won’t speak for Jay here, but I can certainly speak for the effect of Jay’s 40+ years of coaching me!
Jay has believed in me, even when I couldn’t believe in myself. He has helped me notice moments of artistry that I myself was unaware of. More rarely but usefully, he has brought out of me clearer and more cleanly stated expressions of my own intentions (for a story, for a workshop, or for a recording, book, or article) than I was ever likely to become aware of on my own.
I know that Jay values my support of him, too.
How Do I Measure the Effects Of Our Work Together?
Our key effects on each other have been 1) encouragement as well as 2) listening and 3) praise which helped each of us understand our intentions and achievements. Along the way, we have each had many successes—some of which doubtless would not have happened (or happened so soon or so thoroughly) had we not had each other as listening partners.
What successes? A short list might include:
Stories brought to full ripeness;
Recordings and books that have proved useful and enjoyable to many readers;
Performances, lectures, and workshops at home and abroad;
Awards of various kinds.
Artists need to work alone. But we also need community, support, and sounding boards.
And when those who provide the basics are also, like Jay, wonderful, generous, and insightful coaches, any artist’s cup will flow over. And over and over again!
The Secret of a Happy Life as a Storyteller
By now, the secret should no longer be hidden:
A key feature of a successful artistic life is the presence of great coaches and great artists to share our art with.
I have had a long, happy, exciting, and rewarding life as an artist.
And none of that would have been as rich, lively, or profitable if I hadn’t been able to coach my buddies—and be coached by them in return.
Long live the coach! Long live the one who is coached!
May all of you forge your own paths to such rich blessings!
Want to learn more about Jay O’Callahan? See his website, https://ocallahan.com